so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
