Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize