Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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