Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize