Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Randomize
