he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
