why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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