To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize