I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
