my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
