idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Randomize
