How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
