They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
