i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
