I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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