We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Randomize
