Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
