girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
