this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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