can u get pink eye on your cock?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Randomize