his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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