she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I want you more than these girls want KFC
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
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The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
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I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
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