we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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