In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
