You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
