Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
