Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
