I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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