you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
