Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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