what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize
