You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
