oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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