is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
