This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize