If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
They have beer where we have blood.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
