i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
