Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
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