Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
