p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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