The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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