no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Randomize
