Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize