i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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