Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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