is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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