Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
