I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
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I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
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