go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
