He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
