im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Found the puke drawer
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?