Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.