he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
