Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Do you have feelings for this penis?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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