kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
as a side note pls kill me
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
