Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
