So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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