Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
