The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
