So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
