I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
