Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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