Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends