I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
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