I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
