Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
