I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
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All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
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My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize