Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
