Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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