Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Farmville is her only friend.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
