the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
